On another more real-life note

I have failed at my goal.

That's not to say I'm giving up, but this week totally kicked my ass. I succeeded at doing five awesomely intense workouts last week and this week... it's fallen apart. I still did two intense workouts and two good strength training workouts with Michael, but it certainly didn't satisfy my goal.

I'm hoping to turn disappointment in myself into motivation to not fail _again_. I can blame busy days at work, emotional situations, and my period if I want to. But the fact is, the whole point was to do it in _spite_ of those things, not keep using them as an excuse.

I still think I can turn this around for the rest of the month and try again for July as well. But for now, I'm disappointed in myself and generally feeling mopey about it.

Making a deal

I've made a deal with myself this month.

I've been trying (rather unsuccessfully) to lose weight. Part of the problem is the medication I'm on. It's basically fighting me the whole way. I'm also on birth control which isn't great for weight loss, either.

But still, I have been trying. Exercise is _less_ of a problem. I try to make sure I do at least 4 workouts a week, but I totally cheat sometimes doing just weight lifting or just abs or something equally lame. And it's better to do than not to, but that's not really a substitute for a real workout. I need to do 35-60 minutes of aerobics 4-6 times a week. I also need to watch my calories/fat/sugar intake. As for that, I've been doing _okay_. During the week I'm decent at keeping my calories under control. But weekends and special occasions sort of ruin that. I'm trying to integrate more vegetables into my diet and eat smaller portions.

Anyway, at the end of this month on the 26th we leave for Maine. It's a 9 day vacation, the longest one I've ever taken (unless Tennessee was 9 days, but that was mostly driving). During that week exercise in the strictest sense will be limited. We'll hopefully be hiking a decent amount and at least walking around a whole lot. But actual intense workouts will likely not happen during that time. So the deal is this, starting June first (yesterday), I will do some exercise every day, with at least five of those days per week consisting of a full, intense workout. And I will do everything I can to control my diet more. But the exercise is necessary.

And I figure once I've got an intense routine down, hopefully it'll be easier to keep up. I'll see after the four weeks what kind of progress I've made and then go from there.

I figure it's easier to set a goal for four weeks than forever. If I know the goal's four weeks away, it's attainable. Clear. Then maybe when I get back I can set another goal for July. And if I keep doing it in small increments (even if it's essentially the same goal every month or wouldn't be changed too much by just saying I will do "X" forever), eventually it'll be a long-term routine.

And that kind of intense work _has_ to pay off.

So here's hoping I have some positive reinforcement when I get back on the scale on the 26th.