Insomnia - No One's Friend

I have been awake since 3:30 this morning!


On the plus side, the kitchen's been cleaned top to bottom, lunches made, dinner prepped, Michael's clothes ironed, and I'm freshly showered. Definitely gonna be a caffeine day, though. (And through the power of spell check, I only now realized that for my entire life, I have been spelling caffeine wrong; I can't believe Michael never pointed this out to me!)


Insomnia is a harsh bitch.  I am not used to insomnia. Genevieve is often consumed by it.  Michael will every now and then be compelled to stay up very late, restless and unable to sleep.  I, however, can sleep anywhere, any time.  But about once a year, I will get insomnia one night and be completely confused.  Even unable to understand that that's what's going on.  It usually goes like this:


Middle of the night: wake up groggy and, half-conscious, use the  bathroom.  Stumble back to bed.  Unable to get into comfortable position.  Huh?  Snuggle up to ::insert spouse's name here:: ... ITCHES ALL OVER!!!  Toss and turn while scratching layers of skin off at a time for about an hour.


Internal dialogue during this fun time: "Something is wrong...I must be getting sick.  Why can't I sleep?  It's still the middle of the night.  I never feel awake after only five hours sleep.  I want to sleep...I must be sick."  ::stressful and complex thoughts all fill my mind simultaneously::  "Obviously I just need to take a few deep breaths and stop thinking so much...Focus on one relaxing thought."


Spoiler alert - that does not work.  


I will continue this way, trying not to move too much so I don't disturb Michael and/or Genevieve for that hour until I come to the thought (and yes, it does take that long) that _maybe_ I have insomnia.  My brain will continue to look at that thought skeptically for a while.  It doesn't understand the concept.  I am always confused by other people's insomnia, but my own is impossible.  Except that it isn't.


After I finally convince myself that that's what's going on, I will get up and try to do something productive to tire myself out, only to get tired to the point of my eyes refusing to open just about the time the sun's up and I have to go somewhere; usually work.  Then it's time to glue my eyes shut with some caffeine.  


Today is one of those days.  Here's to another year of this _not_ happening.