You don't want to read this article.

And I probably _shouldn't_ have.

But once I started, I couldn't _stop_.

It's not the reading, so much as the pictures.

It's an io9 article about Krokodil (prevalent in Russia), a commonly home-synthesized, cheap, heroin-like drug that, when made not in a lab, tends to be made wrong due to the individual not having all the necessary components.  It can still be made to have heroin-like effects, but which last only about an hour.  Which puts addicts into a loop of making the drug and taking it over and over again all day.  

And the problem with the home-brewed version is that it pretty quickly turns your skin green and scaly before rotting your skin off to expose bone and muscle tissue.  

The information on the drug and phenomenon, while morbid and horrible, was pretty fascinating.  And the first picture down the page is pretty terrifying and gross, but you sort of adjust and feel proud that you could deal with the effects.  

But the final picture on the page is what sanity loss is made of.  And, while it was intensely horrible, you sort of can't look away.  You're drawn to look at the details while convinced one more second will render you insane.

So I'm not telling you to look, but if you do, expect to never be able to scrub your brain of the sight.

The "New Look" is the New Black

I would like Google to go fuck itself.  

... ... ...

Let's start again.

I _love_ Google, and I have a supporter for a long time; I'm still a dedicated worshiper.

But _please_ stop forcing "new looks" that are ugly, unnecessary, and counter-intuitive (to the point of taking intuitive buttons of words like "archive" and "spam" and instead changing them to pictures that I completely miss even being there and which do nothing to tell me what action they perform), 

STOP BEING LIKE FACEBOOK.  

Just give me my damn choice back to have things the way I want them.  Let people use whichever design they want.  Then make all the damn changes you want to a design I'll never see for more than two minutes, at which point I'll promptly switch back to the "old look".  Everybody wins.

Deal? 

< /grump>

Reconstruction, reconstruction!

Today I was linked to a video by Snarky Bytes.  It is a video documenting someone watching a video while in an MRI.  The left side is the video as it was played, and the right is the reconstruction done based on the brain activity recorded by the MRI:

The left clip is a segment of the movie that the subject viewed while in the magnet. The right clip shows the reconstruction of this movie from brain activity measured using fMRI. The reconstruction was obtained using only each subject's brain activity and a library of 18 million seconds of random YouTube video. (In brief, the algorithm processes each of the 18 million clips through the brain model, and identifies the clips that would have produced brain activity as similar to the measured brain activity as possible. The clips used to fit the model, those used to test the model and those used to reconstruct the stimulus were entirely separate.) Brain activity was sampled every one second, and each one-second section of the viewed movie was reconstructed separately. 

Um, _what_the_fuck_?

So creepy!

And I completely want an MRI machine now; this would make for some of the awesomest distorted video _ever_.

Tools are cool!

While I'm incredibly inconsistent with this blog, and have certainly never established this kind of thing as a theme before, I'm joining in with this meme, which was started here by Og.  I saw several of the gun bloggers I follow post this, then Michael, and decided, what the hell!

Take the knife out of your pocket and take a picture of it, and post it. Or post a picture of the same knife from a brochure or whatever.

No, not your favorite knife, or your prettiest, but the one that never leaves your side. 

These are three knives that I carry with my every day without fail.  I used to more regularly carry a more full-sized folding knife (and often will), but I wouldn't say every day anymore.  


On the top left is my Climber model Swiss Army Knife.  It has almost all the tools I need/want regularly (with the possible exception of a phillips screwdriver; I make due with the flat heads attached to the can opener and bottle opener, but it's not ideal).  


On the top right is the Classic Swiss Army Knife I picked up in Maine last year.  I often carried one like it (in black or pink) on my keychain, and still have one there.  But while in Maine, I couldn't resist getting the lobster themed one.  It may seem redundant since I also carry a full sized Swiss Army Knife with all the same tools (larger) and more, but I find I use them both regularly!  The little guy mostly for nail maintenance.  I actually have a little collection of them (I have a black, two pink--one solid, one translucent, an aluminum, and the lobster).  Michael lent me the little sheath it's next to and I've been carrying it in there in my bra ever since (alongside my Streamlight Microstream flashlight).  


And for even longer, I've had an obsession with the Spyderco Cricket.  I have three so far.  The first was a black plastic scale model (which used to be Michael's), the second was a full stainless steel version, and the one pictures is the Ying Yang SantaFè Stoneworks model (pearl and jet; mine is _not_ serated, but that's all I was able to find online), which I fell in love with, and was given as a gift for being best man at Michael's first wedding.  It's definitely my favorite knife that I own, and I carry it also in my bra.  I am always well prepared!

"Yeah, well, history is gonna change."

Ever since sometime in the late 80s, I have been planning my 2015 Back to the Future party.  Well before I knew most of the people I know now, well before I was old enough to even appreciate all elements of the films, I was completely addicted.  To this day it remains one of my favorite fandoms and I'm sure will for my whole life.  The jailbird Joey cake, costumes from the different eras visited in the films...I always intended to have a smashing anniversary party in 2015.

And one thing that could only make that better is the power-lacing Nike sneakers from Back to the Future II.  And now I could have a pair of my own.  But I won't.  Not out of desire, mind you, but out of cost.  The shoes were made and are being sold to raise money for Parkinson's research.  And I can't really complain about such a wonderful cause.  It makes me so sad to see what Michael J. Fox has gone through; he was an idol of mine growing up.

And while I'd love to buy a pair of the awesomest shoes ever to exist with the added benefit of the money going to such a worthy cause, $4-6,000 is a little steep for me.  I was prepared for a few hundred (before I knew it was such limited quantity and being auctioned), but this is just too rich for me.  However, it's still amazing and I more than support anyone who does go for them.  They're available on eBay, 150 pairs on a 24-hour auction each day for 10 days (I believe there are four or five days left).

You can watch Michael J. Fox showing off the shoes on Letterman (originally aired the night before the first 150 pairs went up for auction):

The owner of Google is planning to match however much is made through this fundraiser up to $50 million.  Just one more reason to love Google and several more reasons to wish I was rich!

Brilliant new idea!

Wouldn't it be great if you could read books without having to purchase them?

Oh wait, _you_can_.  It's called a fucking library.

Yet Amazon would like to reinvent this idea in a not-much-more convenient way, that you have to pay for:

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Amazon is set to launch a Netflix-like subscription service for books.

The service would reportedly work exactly like Netflix, where you pay a monthly subscription fee to receive a set number of books each month. Since this is a rumor, it's still not entirely clear how the service will work or how much it will cost. 

If the cost is _anything_ that's too much.  With DVDs, it's one thing; Blockbuster was never free.  But with my library card, I can take out books from any library in the county.  And if they don't have what I want?  They can use a library exchange program to get it.  

The worst part is that people will do this.  People are paying ridiculous, rapey prices for eBooks because they don't care or aren't thinking about it, so they will also probably do this and figure the slight convenience is worth paying for something that could essentially be free.  

Lando, my hero.

I love Lando Calrissian.  I have always loved Lando Calrissian.

And I've gotten no support and only mocking when it comes to this love.  Of course I love Han (in fact, he ranks as my favorite character..._followed_ by Lando).  And does it suck that he betrayed Han?  Well, yes.  Sort of.  He did sort of save an entire planet in the process (or at least try; I'm not too clear on the outcome of their fleeing) and had his hands sort of tied.  It's not like he had another option that would have saved Han.  I highly doubt that this conversation was likely:

Vader: Hand the rebels over to me, and I'll spare your planet.

Lando: No...I don't think I will.  Sorry, mate.

Vader:  Oh.  Okay.  Well, I guess we'll just enslave your people and be on our way.  Say hi to Han for me.

Lando:  Will do;  peace brotha!

Un_likely_.

He would have simply not had Lando meet up with them at the Falcon and would have gone on the offensive slightly sooner.  In fact, I'm not entirely sure what the whole point of that charade was.  Did it accomplish anything?  I mean, Vader was never intending to actually make good on the deal. Really I think Vader was feeling a bit overshadowed by the Emperor and he just wanted to assert his dominance and play around with the lives and prosperity of a planet.

But I digress, yes, Lando "betrayed" Han, but out of necessity, not out of desire.  We have this trope where it is completely unacceptable to do anything that can be construed as betrayal, regardless of the circumstances, and you never get forgiven.  Well, I think Lando's position is a perfect case for why people should grow the fuck up and take a look at everything going on and everything that comes after.

And finally, someone agrees with me.  (via Dorkly)

Despite leading a successful attack on a Death Star and being an instrumental part of the Rebellion’s victory over the Empire, Lando is arguably the least popular main character because he “betrayed” Han Solo. And that’s bullshit. Lando had no choice but to hand Solo over to Vader. As the leader of Cloud City, he had a responsibility to protect his cloud people (killer band name). If Lando resisted, Vader would have taken the city by force and caught up with Luke and the others regardless. Luke later turns himself in after all.

Lando’s smarts allowed for the quiet escape of the Falcon and the evacuation of Cloud City; a superior alternative to a head-on fight with the Empire. Whereas Han and Chewie would prefer charging at Darth Vader with their blasters out, Lando would prefer everyone not dying. He’s Han Solo for the thinking man and smooth as hell. “You truly belong here with us among the clouds.” Are you kidding me? The man probably shits silk.

I rest my case.

Cleverness in advertising

It's obvious to anyone who ever watches television and owns a DVR that advertising is seriously needing to change with the times.  People don't really watch commercials anymore.  I certainly don't.  And on the rare occasions that I happen to be watching something live and do need to slog through commercials, I spend the whole time complaining about it or checking Google Reader on my phone until they're over.  So to get my attention, a commercial has to be clever enough for it to either catch my eye while it zooms by during my fast-forwarding or become meme worthy online.  Luckily many companies have picked up on this and we're getting priceless Old Spice commericals, confusing but amusing Dos Equis ads, and adorable Progressive spots (now with tacos!).

I recently was linked to a new horror-themed video:

This reminded me of one of my favorite commercials which involved a stalking mannequin following someone home and peering into their window.  I think it was a jeans commercial.  But all my Google and YouTube searching didn't turn it up.

Edit:  Apparently my Google-fu was on the fritz!  But thanks to Genevieve, I now have a link to the Levi's Mannequin commercial.

Anyway, I'm quite happy with the level of advertising we're getting.  It's not that we're lacking in crap commercials; they're out there, too!  But the need to be interesting to be recognized is at least encouraging a higher standard, and I appreciate the businesses that are stepping up.  In fact, soon I'll be able to add my studio's commercial to that list (as soon as we premiere it) thanks to my brother.

As a side note, I've also noticed a different tactic cropping up as a way to grab people's attention.  Many companies have been, rather than running 30-second commercials during commercial breaks, buying two 15-second spots at the beginning and end of the commercial break.  I assume the idea behind this is that you'll see the beginning of the commercial before you start fast forwarding and the end right before your show starts up since you'll leave a little space to make sure you don't miss any of the show.  Very clever.  I've certainly seen those commercials way more.  Dunkin' Donuts comes to mind as the best example.  Keep an eye out; I think more companies will be doing it soon and they should - it worked on me!

Top Picks for Sci-Fi/Fantasy Books

So, NPR recently released this years top picks for Science Fiction and Fantasy novels.  And there are _many_ awesome and deserving choices.  In many cases, it may as well be a list of all my favorite books.  But one of my favorite entries is #82, The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde.

Now, if you know me in real life, you are probably sick to death of hearing me talk about "the Thursday Next series", but if you haven't heard me tout it at every possible turn, you should take this entry as an encouragement to go and read it.  All of it.

NPR's blurb is a pretty good synopsis of the first book:

"In a world where you can actually get lost (literally) in literature, Thursday Next, a notorious Special Operative in literary detection, races against time to stop the world's Third Most Wanted criminal from kidnapping characters, including Jane Eyre, from works of literature, forcing her to dive into the pages of a novel to stop literary homicide, in a wildly imaginative, mesmerizing thriller."

The whole series is _fantastic_.  I have read it several times at this point, and also quite enjoy the off-shoot Nursery Crime series.  I will say that the first book is not as engaging as the rest.  It's good, I love it, but the second book is where it really gets into the meat of the world building.

So, if you're looking for something new to read, definitely consider this series.  It's smart, funny, complex, and my favorite series, so I want everyone else to like it, too.

New World Archive

While purging the enormous amount of books and other media the three of us have accumulated throughout our entire lives, we have been selling anything that's worth it on Amazon to make back at least a little of the money we originally spent on all of it in the first place.

I will often get sales from libraries, businesses, churches, convents (I kid you not), and sometimes even book stores.  But one of the more interesting sales I had recently from was a business called "New World Archive".  Often when I get a particularly interesting business purchasing something I'm selling, I'll do a Google search, which often times results in nothing as interesting as it seems.  In this case, it was the exact opposite.  

New World Archive seems to try to avoid having any online presence whatsoever.  In doing some digging, I first found a mention of them on BookThink.com.  They linked to a more in-depth article about New World Archive.  

According to their research, New World Archive is a Canadian based company that buys books from all different places and consolidates them in their warehouse (of which they think they found a picture; there is apparently a US location as well).  They then have a huge staff dedicated to improving the items they get (erasing marks made with pencil, cleaning them up, repackaging them) and then they resell them either as new or at a higher grade than they purchased them.  In many cases, they're buying from individual sellers or sometimes stores in the US that have these items at significantly lower prices than the Canadian market is supporting.  It's not limited to books, either.  According to this site, they have a high volume of CDs that they clean industrially to sell re shrink-wrapped as new.

This whole thing is completely fascinating to me.  It feels like some majorly covered up conspiracy, but really it's just a strange business model that seems difficult to keep up a constant profit.

Weird!

No more Eureka

Yesterday, the SyFy (god I hate that...) network cancelled Eureka.  It's one of the best original shows to come out of the network, and I'm surprised at the news.  The writing could be...less than ideal at times, especially when it came to making situations plausible, but it was always about the characters.  And they really knew how to make awesome, lovable characters.

But they don't know a good thing when they have it (_or_ not enough viewers are tuning in, but this _has_ to be one of the most successful original series they've had; maybe the budget's just too big).  So after the episodes airing now, we have one more season next year (which is finishing up filming now), and that's it.  Major rewrite is likely happening as we speak since the last episode of season five is filming in about a week.  They're working hard to make sure the series ties up as best as it can.

But what really annoys me is that, apparently, SyFy released an official statement about it  without even telling the cast first (and possibly even the directors/producers).

What?  Assholes.

Mario on Paper

Speaks for itself.

Theeeyyy'reee FOOD!

Ahem.

Snow White.

Apple snacks.

People do not think.  Because to think this was a good idea would have required cooler people with a much more morbid sense of humor, and those are not the people that designed these obliviously cheery snacks.

Portal / Portal 2 - Videos

Portal 2 is absolutely my favorite video game of all time.  I have loved my Zelda and Final Fantasy games.  Mario will always be close to my heart.  Grand Theft Auto made me more terrified of actual driving, but enamored with slaughter.  But nothing can compare to the perfection that was Portal 2.  Even Portal now seems like more of a preview than anything.

And, as with all worthy nerdy things, there's enough fan content to make the experience all the better.  Here are some of my absolute favorite Portal videos; thanks to all the fans.  I hope to be able to add my own videos of burlesque to this list once my Chell costume and portal gun are finished.

Portal 2  Fan-Made Music Video

Outside Aperture (based on the ending of the first Portal)

Portal - Live Performance

And, quite possibly my favorite scene of the game:

I think that this scene has the best snip-it of GLaDOS; the inflection in her voice when she says "Oh, it's _you_" is quintessential.  There are some other heartbreaking and wonderfully sexy scenes with her, and I'd post everything she says and does if I could (but I obviously don't have quite enough motivation to look), but this, I think, is her in a nutshell.  I get chills whenever I listen to her in this scene.

PSA: Swamp Ass - Gamers Take Note!

A recent PSA from one of my favorite captains:

I think he should do many, many more of these.

Insomnia - No One's Friend

I have been awake since 3:30 this morning!


On the plus side, the kitchen's been cleaned top to bottom, lunches made, dinner prepped, Michael's clothes ironed, and I'm freshly showered. Definitely gonna be a caffeine day, though. (And through the power of spell check, I only now realized that for my entire life, I have been spelling caffeine wrong; I can't believe Michael never pointed this out to me!)


Insomnia is a harsh bitch.  I am not used to insomnia. Genevieve is often consumed by it.  Michael will every now and then be compelled to stay up very late, restless and unable to sleep.  I, however, can sleep anywhere, any time.  But about once a year, I will get insomnia one night and be completely confused.  Even unable to understand that that's what's going on.  It usually goes like this:


Middle of the night: wake up groggy and, half-conscious, use the  bathroom.  Stumble back to bed.  Unable to get into comfortable position.  Huh?  Snuggle up to ::insert spouse's name here:: ... ITCHES ALL OVER!!!  Toss and turn while scratching layers of skin off at a time for about an hour.


Internal dialogue during this fun time: "Something is wrong...I must be getting sick.  Why can't I sleep?  It's still the middle of the night.  I never feel awake after only five hours sleep.  I want to sleep...I must be sick."  ::stressful and complex thoughts all fill my mind simultaneously::  "Obviously I just need to take a few deep breaths and stop thinking so much...Focus on one relaxing thought."


Spoiler alert - that does not work.  


I will continue this way, trying not to move too much so I don't disturb Michael and/or Genevieve for that hour until I come to the thought (and yes, it does take that long) that _maybe_ I have insomnia.  My brain will continue to look at that thought skeptically for a while.  It doesn't understand the concept.  I am always confused by other people's insomnia, but my own is impossible.  Except that it isn't.


After I finally convince myself that that's what's going on, I will get up and try to do something productive to tire myself out, only to get tired to the point of my eyes refusing to open just about the time the sun's up and I have to go somewhere; usually work.  Then it's time to glue my eyes shut with some caffeine.  


Today is one of those days.  Here's to another year of this _not_ happening.

"Mistake"... Yeah, right.

What. The. Hell.

National Celebrate Something Day!

Okay, today is apparently a day of many celebrations. It's Towel Day, National Wine Day, National Brown Bag-it Day (those two brought to my attention by Jessica Harper), _and_ the anniversary of the release date of Star Wars: A New Hope. 


Too many things to celebrate! I'm going to have to wrap myself in a towel to watch A New Hope while drinking wine tonight. 


Sadly, I brought my lunch in a plastic bag. :/


Fortunately, National Brown Bag-It Day is possibly the most lame "celebrate this on this day!" national celebrations I've ever heard of (and I now look forward to be proven wrong).

You're right...

I should be working.

And I'll get back to that in a minute.

But for now, I just need to vent about how everything always happens at once.  There are always little things at a job (even a job you love, and I love mine) that drive you crazy or aren't fun to go through.  Rude customers, confrontational situations, busy days you can't keep up with, too many phone calls, you break a piece, a kids breaks two, not enough staff to catch up, etc.

But why do so many of these things have to happen at once?  On the one hand, maybe it's better.  You get one bad day instead of several spread out.  On the other hand, it's a lot harder to let it just roll off of you when it's one thing after another.  And when it's one customer causing a slew of problems, and then more piled on top while you're still dealing with the problem machine never, ever leaving you alone, it's inescapable!

I love my job.  Very, very much.  But in every way I am counting the minutes until we close.  Michael will pick me up, I will buy the new Jasper Fforde book (One of Our Thursdays is Missing), we will go home, and I will have a glass of something boozey while eating (hopefully) delicious ribs I made in the crock pot today.

But for now, once more into the breach (soon to include girl scouts!).

25 Years of The Legend of Zelda

In reading this article today, I was shocked by two things related to the commercial he posted within the article:

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2011/02/25-years-of-zelda/

First of all, who in their right mind saw that commercial and then thought, "That's the video game for me!" I've known all kinds of gamers, but seriously?  Is that what the 80s was like?  Is that what sold things in the 80s?  Because my dad _did_ run out and get it...and even with all his faults, I wouldn't have expected that to appeal.  I'm glad it did, because it was an incredible game and has lead to many more awesome games in the series.

But come on...

Second, I'm fairly certain that the actor in that commercial is John Kassir.  And this link backs me up.

Wow.  I love John Kassir and all but wow.

I prefer the taste of Google when choosing my overlord, personally.

Want to switch to Verizon with your iPhone?  AT&T is happy to help!

"Dear customer,

We see you've decided to switch your loyal service to our slightly better competitor.  We understand that we have no service in most areas and our customer service leaves something to be desired.  Here to help you with your smooth transition, we've come up with three easy steps.

First, pay us several hundred dollars!  It's that easy to not hurt our feelings!  We know you want to cancel our service, so in an effort to make that easier to swallow for all, several hundred dollars from you is all we need; amicable split successful!

Second, purchase a brand new iPhone from Verizon!  Wait, you already purchased the newest version from us?  Well, sorry to inform you that the technology is slightly different, so you'll have to buy a new one anyway.  So sorry about that.  It was unavoidable, we're sure.

Third, make your regularly scheduled sacrifice to Apple.  I've heard it's always better with pie.

Hugs and kisses,
AT&T, Apple, and Verizon, your triumvirate of evil, evil, and only-slightly-less-evil corporations at work"

Via techland.